Lies my mother tells....

1.  Cell phone rings.  Mommy answers, cupping phone on shoulder while simultaneously changing a poopy diaper on a wriggling baby, in the front seat of the car, in the parking lot of Safeway:
Caller: "Hi, what are you doing?"
Me: "Nothing."

2.  "If you sit on your sister again I'm going to take away all of your toys!"

Mommies make messes too

"Mommy what are you doing?", Liam looks up from his PB & J after he hears my shriek.  "Oh just cleaning up a mess I made," I say.  Actually I just dumped my muffin tin full of blueberry muffin batter across the top of the stove.  Arrghh!  I had just thought to myself "this is so easy, I should make muffins more often" and not a minute later, splat! 
You know I scooped up that batter and threw it back into the muffin tin.  We'll see what happens...meanwhile, what's that burning smell?