sleepless in santa paula

Our angel, Liam, has decided that sleep is not his thing.  Have I mentioned this before?  I thought I was so smart because he never slept in our bed (unlike his brother who slept with us until he was over a year old); I thought this way Liam will learn to sleep by himself.  This worked like a charm while Liam was in his bassinet, he was sleeping six hours a night when he was a month old.  Then we moved him to his big boy bed, and he knew.  For a while he would "nap" from 8 until 9, then he'd stay up until 11 or 12!  It was craziness.  So it was time to put the hammer down.  Liam is crying it out, and it is hell.  It tears our hearts to hear him crying, and, crying, and crying.  The first night was 55 minutes, tonight it was 50 minutes.  I just hope that what I read is true - that after a week he'll get used to it and learn to put himself to sleep.  I see babies doing it all the time so I know it's possible.  But I can't shake the feeling that I am a bad mommy for not holding him until he falls asleep, and then not holding him all evening long until he finally sleeps.  There is a part of me that feels like I should just hold him.  I really hope I don't regret this later!