the road not taken...

The pair he wanted:








The pair we bought:









We went to REI today to buy sandals (and to drool a little bit over bikes and camping gear). Liam was easy. A pair of Tevas and he was good to go. Owen tried flip flops, water shoes, and Crocs, and a fair bit of men's hiking boots. He picked up a pair of hot pink Crocs and loved them. Of course they were exactly the right size and he walked around, ran, jumped, and skipped. "See Mommy, watch how fast I can run". I pulled out the blue pair and said let's see how these fit. Take out the plastic tab and run in those. Oooh, fast!
So he contentedly wore them around the store while Mommy and Daddy oohed and aahed over everything. Then came time to check out and he says but I want the pink ones. I tell him that pink is a nice color, yes one of our favorites, but on clothes and shoes - it's for girls. We go back and forth for a while and eventually he agrees to the blue ones. I even throw out the option for red or green Crocs from a different store. However that involves delayed gratification, a concept foreign to Owen. (He will always choose whatever is immediately at hand, but that is another post).
My quandry here is, should I have let him buy the pink Crocs? Loren and I were talking about that tonight. Did I quash a piece of his creativity, his "self" by not letting him choose the color? After all, it is just a color. What's the big deal?? And my answer is this: if we still lived in SP, and he went to the same school, and had all the same friends, I would have let him buy the pink Crocs. Everyone there knows him and wouldn't make any judgements (well, maybe about my parenting choices but that's something I can deal with). Here, we are in a new town. He'll be going to a new school, and making new friends. I don't want people to judge him without knowing him. I realize that is our society, and I believe that we should be ourselves, but, where does a mother draw the line? He likes pink, and we don't care. So am I being hypocritical to let him wear pink at home ("casa" home, as well as hometown) but not buy the pink Crocs that he wanted? It's done, but maybe this was like a little test. What would I say if he wanted, really, really really wanted to wear a dress? I used to think I wouldn't care. That his expression of self was the most important thing. But now? I think I failed the test.